hello its been a while..... nothing and everything is going on all at once in my life right now and I won't bore you with the details

my art is once again on a declije mostly art block and lack of sleep and lack of a lot of things.... i just hope it's good enough for now hehe

I want to do more stuff but expect nothing for a few days at least because of weird schedules and irl things. Im experimenting again with a lot of strats

Another nothing update to add onto the tokuwan nothingburger. This is the lettuce of the burger

i missd drawing and ng. Here ‘s a little behind the scenes from my last drawing .

(incoming tangent…)

i feel like a big flaw with me as an artist is even if i do something new with a totally different method i revert back to my old ways. Then i get a little furustrated, cause i was suppoeed to do something new! :/. Even with this weird trait, i still somehow find a way to make every drawing totally different.. Not on purpose though. Its like whatever outcome i want, the opposite will happen!!! vry frustrating ..

Thats all. No update on the comic since the title is too long and i might scrap the whole premise and rework it into a short comic strip series rather than a fully coloured, planned out comic. Starting to miss drawing moronica thogh, i might give her a friend so she’s less lonely. see you later when i remember i have newgrounfs.

speaking of newgrounds, you can msg me here or on my discord account(ask) if you wanna collaborate on smthing! i actually want 2 do something new and work on something awesome,.. Hopefully no more depressive episodes from me, happy saturday (or sunday) wherever you’re from

cool might be an overstatement, its just another school year sketch. I think i should just dump my doodles on here instead of my actual profile, clogs up the feed less

(hair topic lole)

gggggg im debatign whether or not to cut my hair again.. random thoughts again.

i dont mnow if i look good in either but im much more comfortable with short hair, i think… for a majority of my life ive maintained that.

speaking of, i feel like I don’t draw a whole lot of characters with long hair?!!

Its a mixed bag, really.. mostly ponytails?

(my forgetfulness)

sometimes i forget what im supposed to post in here, necause i usually have some faint idea of what imgonna talk about. But i lost it, so.. you get my rambling.

(comic babble)

Ive had a few ideas for the “i cant help myself” comic!!! im very excited to put them onto paper, (literally! Im gonna start doing trad art more!!!) nd finally get normal panel lines lol my handnis way too wiggly and my tablet didnnot help, it’s sort of tilted.. talking aboit moronica,’its mostly just going to be about (some of my) relatable experiences…

nothing too big, just a very short and informal comic. I feel like ive mentioned it before, but i am planning to make sometjing out of my ng mascot, cactus! instill need to find my actual ref sheet for her lololol, no idea why it’s missing.. just look out, i think! i will try to be funny, haha

(pic is not rel, just an islander mii)

i dont know if its artblock or if im jusr lazy, but i feel somthing. The last piece i did (nicolette) was actually refreshing and fun.. im going back to my roots…. Trad art is reaaaalllt fun but also i kinda dig digital because.. its easier

(traditional art tangent)

like a whole lot easier,,. but also traditional feels more comfortable for me? If that makes sense. It does kinda make sense, because i feel prouder of my traditional art than my digital work.. especially the traditional art i jusr trace over

(back on topic, art block)

—i justfeel lazy all the time!!! i cant get out of the loop. Wake up > lay in bed for hours > go online > lay in bed until it’s late > sleep again > repeat…

it sucks so bad. at least today i tried something,.. (another tangent..im a talker) i doodled a few things on my notebook and found a nice idea for a new series— Not a comic or maybe a short 4koma ? Im not really sure yet

Lets jusy have a new character! her name will be secret for now,(i havent decided yet)

and she is connected to the channel mascot:) i finally decided to do something with her! by the way, my mascot’s name is Warning. Her full name’s Cactus, Warning actually

story reason.s…; ill tell tou now, she landed in a desert and read a sign that said Warning, Cactus. So her first name would be warning. Her nickname is cactus, though.

back on topic, idk what to do…., im stukc in this neverending loop of sitting in bed all day.

it’s probably late somewhere for someone out there. It’s very early for me and ive just woken up

i feel a lot clearer-headed(?) in the morning but also not, since i wake up from the blinds being opened against my will or just the sun hitting my face. it really does piss me off

ive been having a recurring dream and chaarcger in my head, and ive been wanting to put it on paper. Maybe i’ll do that today

taking it one step at a time… ill do better today than wait for tomorrow, i think.

Sometimes i look back on this drawing and think wow thats incredibly shit i should redo it

im at a point where i look at my older art and realize im doin worse now. Like devolving,.. Ive shared this sentiment before but it was mostly centred on my lack of motivation.

its a mix of that and being insanely sluggish probably. For some reason i have a hard time sleeping now, my sleep schedule is wack and when i wake up i stay in until noon.

i guess thats the life of being unemployed and not in school but also i wish i could do something. The only thing im remotely good at is dtawing and icant even do that, yanno

couple that sluggishness with my laziness i feel like thats a recipe for no good art(from me at least). Because i am a lazy person i make a lot of excuses but i cant even do that anymore because i dont do anythin all day!!!

speaking of art, i feel pretty unmotivated anyway and this has always been a thing ever since i started posting my stuff online. While i do love newgrounds i feel like i dont interact with people too much and make too many friends to be popular

i dont want to be very popular but i want my stuff to be seen likemost artists. So i get a little bummed when i realize ‘ah, i have to work for this.” Since again, i am lazy……

this makes me a little scared for when i have to find a real job, since i know if i ever do monetize my art im probably gonna get unmotivated quickly and disappoint a lot of people. Also tye fact that i am not good at anything besides drawing mediocre anime girls and such

i used to be much better at art and time management, and everything in gneral… i dont know whats going on with me!!!! i feel scared of people now and that led me to delete anything tokuwan(like my twitter and youtube,,..)…

of course i kept newgrounds, its the only place i feel i belong anyway. I stopped going outside awhile ago & basically accidentally alienated more than half of my friends

i hate to keep talking about my issues and personal stuff but i feel like its also maybe fine to say this since it kind of reveals what ive been doing every gap there is in my illustrations… which is nothing

all of tjis is just to say i have to speak to the void because id have to talk to myself if i couldnt

If you read all of this i applaud you but you might have wasted your time reading a teenage girls diary entry

To compensate, i hope this doodle of a girl with a united states flag bikini lets you forgive me for spilling my guts out on a website about sharing art.

I hope this dkesnt come off as political because i drew this a long time ago and i think flag bikini tops are quite cute. + i am not sure what is happening

im probably not gonna shut up for awhile but the announcement got me excited heres some of my island residents

been awhile but im back i think,. I forget i ahve a newgrounds account sometimes so my last piece was a bit unplanned. Im pretty happy with the result though i wish i could have done something elsde that wasnt oc related. i will post some doodles shortly though they are not scanned properly, ignore wonky-ness hehe

will probably dump more studies/doodles on here